Familial Research and Development

Pride! Pride is what keeps us from repentance. Pride is what keeps us ensnared in the natural man. Pride is what keeps us from thinking of letting go of self-will and adapting to and embracing ‘Thy will’ attitudes. Somehow pride and fear are intertwined. Fear of being less or less capable than one thinks they are is fueled or hid by pride of thinking you are great and capable.* I know this last sentence sounds confusing but really it has something to do with 'mans blindness'- which is our not being able to see ourselves as we really are (either our weaknesses or our strengths). But back to the pride/fear intertwining with our sense of capable/incapable. This is represented as the ‘little child’ syndrome of recognizing that just as a little child must put their faith and trust in the hand of an adult-we must put our faith and trust in the Hand of our Savior and let Him lead us whither-soever He will, whensoever He will, howsoever He will; without doubt, without fear, without pri

My mom came to live with us. We had been baptized just minutes apart from each other. I was 16 yrs old. She was 44. I know how she must have felt. 'There's nothing wrong with you, it's all in your head.' 'You just want people to feel sorry for you.' 'You just want a vacation and to make everyone else do everything for you.' 'You're lazy.' But we weren't on the same spiritual plane. I held fast to the iron rod for I had sought truth and light all my young life. She had him to deal with and wasn't holding fast to much of anything. My biggest concern was what was my responsibility to the Lord with and for her. She hadn't had her Endowments. Was it my job to teach and exhort and 'missionary' her to that point so she too could enjoy that sweet fruit? So I prayed and pleaded. Not often when I ask an open ended question do I get an answer. This time I did. "What would you have me do for her? What is my mission with her?"

I recall the days when as a mother the Spirit would work on me or trouble me throughout the day over one child and then would teach me as I would think/ask, ‘what is it?’ about what that child was struggling with. This morning I found the scriptural reference for that-of course I’ve read it dozens of times but here it is: But behold, hearken ye unto me, and know that by the help of the all–powerful Creator of heaven and earth I can tell you concerning your thoughts, how that ye are beginning to labor in sin, which sin appeareth very abominable unto me, yea, and abominable unto God. (Book of Mormon | Jacob 2:5) This tendency doesn't just go away either as your children become adults. You still have the Holy Ghost troubling you and there's less you can do or say about it, but you still know. For some of your children you can only pray, some you can talk to-but they might not be ready to talk about what's troubling them, some you can only cry for.

I am not a goal setter. Well, I wouldn't classify myself as one. A former co-worker would have a year-at-a-glace calendar by her desk. Every payday was circled in one color. Every unpaid holiday was circled in another. Every paid holiday (all three of them) was circled in another. AND she knew how many hours (to the minute) of PTO she had at what point and when she was going to take which day(s) off for the whole year. Nope. I am not a goal setter-well by those parameters. That said, I know that since this week began with an unpaid holiday, I will have to find a way of making my 40 hours up (as much as is feasible) within the allotted four days left of the week. But wait, Friday, the day before the big move, will be a half day. Therefore I have 3 1/2 days to work my 40 hours in, or use PTO and then either not get paid for or not take vacation in July. Today, and now is when and where I have control. So I get there as close to 7 a.m. as I can and work until 6 p.m. Three days of this