I Sought Peace
My mom came to live with us. We had been baptized just minutes apart from each other. I was 16 yrs old. She was 44. I know how she must have felt. 'There's nothing wrong with you, it's all in your head.' 'You just want people to feel sorry for you.' 'You just want a vacation and to make everyone else do everything for you.' 'You're lazy.'
But we weren't on the same spiritual plane. I held fast to the iron rod for I had sought truth and light all my young life. She had him to deal with and wasn't holding fast to much of anything.
My biggest concern was what was my responsibility to the Lord with and for her. She hadn't had her Endowments. Was it my job to teach and exhort and 'missionary' her to that point so she too could enjoy that sweet fruit? So I prayed and pleaded.
Not often when I ask an open ended question do I get an answer. This time I did. "What would you have me do for her? What is my mission with her?"
The answer came as clear as could be: "Just love her."
What a relief! What a lifted burden. It would be hard enough to do that in itself, largely because of the mixed messages I had heard from her for the past fourteen years (due in great part because of the influence of him), but much easier to love her than anything else.
Now I see the scripture which reassured me of His finite involvement in each of our lives:
'BUT behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction.'
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 3:1)
Another major turning point in my life when I sought peace was just after the four-month miscarriage of Jeremiah. Ruth was at least two years old. It was a bloody and difficult miscarriage. I think David was scared. I know he was. Because a couple weeks later as we talked about whether we should have another baby or not, he said not. I was morose for about three days. Finally after prayer the inspiration came to ask him if we talked with a high-risk pregnancy doctor and he said it should be fine to have one more, then would he agree to it. He said yes.
We went to Steven Sumners MacArthur. And he said yes. So we had Paul. I sought peace and I was at peace.
But we weren't on the same spiritual plane. I held fast to the iron rod for I had sought truth and light all my young life. She had him to deal with and wasn't holding fast to much of anything.
My biggest concern was what was my responsibility to the Lord with and for her. She hadn't had her Endowments. Was it my job to teach and exhort and 'missionary' her to that point so she too could enjoy that sweet fruit? So I prayed and pleaded.
Not often when I ask an open ended question do I get an answer. This time I did. "What would you have me do for her? What is my mission with her?"
The answer came as clear as could be: "Just love her."
What a relief! What a lifted burden. It would be hard enough to do that in itself, largely because of the mixed messages I had heard from her for the past fourteen years (due in great part because of the influence of him), but much easier to love her than anything else.
Now I see the scripture which reassured me of His finite involvement in each of our lives:
'BUT behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction.'
(Book of Mormon | Jacob 3:1)
Another major turning point in my life when I sought peace was just after the four-month miscarriage of Jeremiah. Ruth was at least two years old. It was a bloody and difficult miscarriage. I think David was scared. I know he was. Because a couple weeks later as we talked about whether we should have another baby or not, he said not. I was morose for about three days. Finally after prayer the inspiration came to ask him if we talked with a high-risk pregnancy doctor and he said it should be fine to have one more, then would he agree to it. He said yes.
We went to Steven Sumners MacArthur. And he said yes. So we had Paul. I sought peace and I was at peace.
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