You're My Favorite....

 My sister-in-law (down syndrome) once said to me when we came to visit, "You're my favorite sister!" Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Man, I was on top of the world knowing that out of her eight or nine sister-in-laws and one blood sister, she called me her favorite.

Then one of my brother-in-laws said, "Don't take her too seriously. She says that to all her sister-in-laws." 

Wind out of my sails moment. Kicked in the gut.

But wait just a minute. Why 'let' him deflate me like that? There's absolutely no reason to allow him to make me feel less special to her. This whole 'lesson' took me a few years to process and decide how I felt about it and what I was going to do with it.

Raising six children isn't always easy. Somewhere deep inside I wanted for them something I couldn't buy at the store. Something they couldn't buy at the store. I wanted them to know what they were doing right. I wanted them to know how special they were. I wanted them to know they were my favorite.

I was finally Inspired of a way to do just that. Because you can only build on the positive... Because they can only truly believe you, when you are telling the truth and they KNOW it's the truth... I would have to catch them in the act. Find something they were doing right and then get them alone, away from their other siblings and praise them for what they were doing and finish by telling them, "And that's why you're my favorite."

The best laid plans, even when directed by the Spirit, can eventually catch up with you (ask Jacob and Rebekah-Genesis 27:6-30). It took nearly two decades, but it it did eventually.

Kids grow up. That's the plan. That's what they're supposed to do. They become adults, move out, and are living their own lives and on occasion, if they didn't learn to hate each other, they will communicate 'off-grid' (out of your view and/or hearing) and that's when some of the 'confessions' come out.

It happened one day. One of my 'favorites' said to me, "I was talking with (insert name of sibling) and they said you told them that they were your favorite." Me, "Yes. That's true." Child, "But I thought I was your favorite." Me, "Yes. That's true." Child, "Then I talked with (insert name of  another sibling) and brought up the subject by saying, 'I'm sorry to tell you but mom said I'm her favorite.' And my sibling said, 'Mom told me that I am her favorite.'" 

So there you have it. I was ratted out. Was making sure they could feel good about themselves worth the risk? Yes, I believe so.



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