The Pain from the Loss of Children

Some people lose their children through the growing up years. They lose them to drugs, sex, fanatical religion, social ills; and then there's the other side of losing them to illness (sudden, chronic or congenital) or through accident/incident. Anyway you stack it it's painful.

There are other ways to lose children-which cause so much pain.

One ends up in a marriage with the wrong person and you watch the struggle and decline of that child and that child's spirit and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do. So you pray. Love from a distance. Give what you can. Accept what is offered and wait for there are promises... His Holy Promises.

Another ends up choosing to go into harms way-legally-as a profession. Your silly gray hairs start to turn white and get more and more profuse. It was a middle child-one you had so much hope for and then you're faced with fears. Night and day fears. And again there is absolutely NOTHING you can do. So you pray. Love from a distance. Give what you can. Accept what is offered and wait for there are promises... His Holy Promises.



All of that pain seems to then intensify like the sun through a magnifying glass when your baby chooses to also go into harms way. Your hair goes whiter and you know to pray harder.

We went to the Temple this afternoon. The one we went to when I took out my endowments. The one my Dove went to when he took out his endowments. The one we were sealed as a family in for all time and eternity. Where it all began for our family.

And I wept. I wanted to just sob. I wept those last few minutes, trying to speak as I passed through the veil.

This loss is NOT a tragic loss. It is a separation loss. There is no shame involved in this loss. There is no wondering 'what did I/we do wrong?'.

The swearing in process brought to my realization that his choice, like the choice of an older brother, is one of making this choice of his Holy. For in his swearing in, it was to God.