35+ years and still there are rude surprises...
Monday David was still on vacation-let’s face it. He’s put in 10 years with Qwest and so has more vacation time than I do so of course he could take an additional day off. Me on the other hand-not even a year with Provo Craft/Creative Xpress so less vacation and yes, it was back to work on Monday for me.
Well, David had stuff he needed to do for the Stake. They want wireless and hardwire Internet connections in the Relief Society and YM/YW room. That meant he had to run data-com cables and make connections and then check those connections to make sure they were live and functional.
These things take time. Once he actually begins a project like this he wastes little time. It’s all the other little things that he wades through before the initiation of the project that determines the time when he completes the project.
We choose to be a one car family. It’s more cost effective (since he can ride the bus to and from work) so of course I had no issue with him driving me to work, dropping me off, and keeping the car all day. Do you see where this is going? I asked him to be back by 4 or 4:30 to pick me up. I was being dropped off at 7 a.m. By 4 I had put in a 9 hour day. I do NOT get paid overtime and am expected to watch my time sufficiently so I can be sure and clock out before my 40 hours by the end of the week-whenever that ends up being. Well, it was getting to be 4 p.m. Then it was 4:07. Then I decided it was a long enough day and I’d rather be home and with my husband at work so I clocked out-confident he would show up any moment. He really is good about that.
I got downstairs and he wasn’t in the lobby. I went outside and neither he nor our car was there. I called home. No answer. I called his cell phone. No answer. I tried both again. Then I thought maybe he was on his way and just didn’t hear his cell phone ringing. So I tried his cell again-maybe he almost caught it last time but because of traffic and knowing how close he was to picking me up he just let it go but would be watching it closer now so would answer if I called right back. Nope! Aint gonna happen.
So I called Ruth to see how close she was to my way-if she left work at 4 or 4:30 she may be coming my way within 20 minutes. I could be walking-which is what I had started doing-toward home and make it to downtown Spanish Fork about the time she’d get there. But no-she was working much later tonight. Okay.
Since there was still no sign of David or my car my mind started wandering further. Did he bumble at the top of the stairs and fall down and got hurt, seriously, broken, bruised, bleeding, dead? I called Paul on the off chance that maybe for one reason or another David had called him. Nope-nothing of the sort. Hmmmm…
So I kept walking. It was a lovely fall day. But the sun would be setting in an hour and the 9 mile walk would still be that and it would get cold if I didn’t do what I could do. So I kept walking. At this point I was almost up to the National Guard Armory-about a mile from work. My phone rang. It was the ring tone I had set for David but was for a family member-who could it be? Ah-Paul. He asked if I had heard from dad yet? No. Had I called the Stake Center? No-don’t have their number and he could be at one of the other buildings as the Stake Presidency had a comprehensive job in the other buildings also for him to do and I didn’t have their numbers. He then asked if I was walking. Yes. Where are you now? At the National Guard Armory-background conversation-he’s telling Erin where I am-exclaiming already! More background conversation then to me, “Would you like us to come and pick you up and give you a ride home?” No-I can walk home-I spent all of last week walking all over Walt Disney World-I can manage. “Do your knees hurt?” Silly boy-of course they hurt-I’ll use the TENS unit on my knees when I get home and I’ll be okay. “We will be there really quick.” Then he hung up.
About four minutes later-David called. It was now 4:37. I simply said Paul was already on his way to pick me up so never-mind and hung up. Paul and Erin got to the road that T’d on to the road and needed to know if he needed to turn right toward the National Guard Armory (and my work) or to the left toward the air port and where I was currently walking. He called and was astonished that I was there already. They came, picked me up, took me home and yes-David was not there-he was still working at the Stake Center.
Needless to say I didn’t have a lot to say to him when he did get home. Also, I did not fix dinner. I didn’t feel like eating and knew I needed to cool off for a lot longer before I was ready to talk to him. When he did get home he said, without eye contact-a big no-no in my book, “I’m sorry.”
Yeah- a LOT of things went through my mind. Sorry for what? Sorry I’m mad? Sorry Church was more important (that one doesn’t wash with me-it is more important, however, part of Church is taking care of your family-your spouse)? Sorry the Stake Presidency’s praise of, “Great job-works perfect-so quick,” means more to him than my words of, “You are so awesome at doing this (specific task, attitude, etc.) and I love and appreciate that in you,” is of more value to you than I? Sorry that you didn’t get your act together, get started sooner, and plan your day better so you could get done earlier so you could pick me up on time? Sorry that you couldn’t or wouldn’t answer your phone? Sorry you didn’t watch the time closer-that is why you have a watch on your wrist-right? Sorry you don’t care about me enough? Sorry that our children care more about me than he did? Yeah-I wasn’t ready to talk to him so I said nothing and just rolled over and went to sleep.
The next morning before he left for work he again said, “I’m sorry.” Again I said nothing because I was waiting for him to say what he was sorry about.
That night when he called to let me know his bus was getting back on the freeway in Springville (the checkpoint that lets me know it’s time to leave for the Payson bus stop to pick him up) I didn’t answer the phone. Let him feel what it’s like to not know. To worry. To wonder. I made sure I was there on time.
I had the engine off when his bus pulled up. He put his laptop in the trunk and got in the car. I didn’t start the engine. We sat there and I said, “We’re going nowhere until this is resolved. I’ll wait to hear what you have to say.”
It took him 15 minutes to come up with he promised to turn the ringer on his cell phone back on after the Temple (which we had done on Saturday so he had the ringer off Saturday, Sunday, and Monday). And then I told him some of the thoughts and fears I had experienced and asked him about watching the time-wasn’t that why we bought him a watch? He agreed to watch time more closely when he’s working on Church projects.
What was my major concern? Yes, my knees; yes, the cold; but really the major concern was between the National Guard Armory and the Airport is the County Jail and open fields and some drivers aren’t careful along that road-there isn’t a sidewalk the whole way. These were legitimate (I felt) reasons to be concerned.
Well, David had stuff he needed to do for the Stake. They want wireless and hardwire Internet connections in the Relief Society and YM/YW room. That meant he had to run data-com cables and make connections and then check those connections to make sure they were live and functional.
These things take time. Once he actually begins a project like this he wastes little time. It’s all the other little things that he wades through before the initiation of the project that determines the time when he completes the project.
We choose to be a one car family. It’s more cost effective (since he can ride the bus to and from work) so of course I had no issue with him driving me to work, dropping me off, and keeping the car all day. Do you see where this is going? I asked him to be back by 4 or 4:30 to pick me up. I was being dropped off at 7 a.m. By 4 I had put in a 9 hour day. I do NOT get paid overtime and am expected to watch my time sufficiently so I can be sure and clock out before my 40 hours by the end of the week-whenever that ends up being. Well, it was getting to be 4 p.m. Then it was 4:07. Then I decided it was a long enough day and I’d rather be home and with my husband at work so I clocked out-confident he would show up any moment. He really is good about that.
I got downstairs and he wasn’t in the lobby. I went outside and neither he nor our car was there. I called home. No answer. I called his cell phone. No answer. I tried both again. Then I thought maybe he was on his way and just didn’t hear his cell phone ringing. So I tried his cell again-maybe he almost caught it last time but because of traffic and knowing how close he was to picking me up he just let it go but would be watching it closer now so would answer if I called right back. Nope! Aint gonna happen.
So I called Ruth to see how close she was to my way-if she left work at 4 or 4:30 she may be coming my way within 20 minutes. I could be walking-which is what I had started doing-toward home and make it to downtown Spanish Fork about the time she’d get there. But no-she was working much later tonight. Okay.
Since there was still no sign of David or my car my mind started wandering further. Did he bumble at the top of the stairs and fall down and got hurt, seriously, broken, bruised, bleeding, dead? I called Paul on the off chance that maybe for one reason or another David had called him. Nope-nothing of the sort. Hmmmm…
So I kept walking. It was a lovely fall day. But the sun would be setting in an hour and the 9 mile walk would still be that and it would get cold if I didn’t do what I could do. So I kept walking. At this point I was almost up to the National Guard Armory-about a mile from work. My phone rang. It was the ring tone I had set for David but was for a family member-who could it be? Ah-Paul. He asked if I had heard from dad yet? No. Had I called the Stake Center? No-don’t have their number and he could be at one of the other buildings as the Stake Presidency had a comprehensive job in the other buildings also for him to do and I didn’t have their numbers. He then asked if I was walking. Yes. Where are you now? At the National Guard Armory-background conversation-he’s telling Erin where I am-exclaiming already! More background conversation then to me, “Would you like us to come and pick you up and give you a ride home?” No-I can walk home-I spent all of last week walking all over Walt Disney World-I can manage. “Do your knees hurt?” Silly boy-of course they hurt-I’ll use the TENS unit on my knees when I get home and I’ll be okay. “We will be there really quick.” Then he hung up.
About four minutes later-David called. It was now 4:37. I simply said Paul was already on his way to pick me up so never-mind and hung up. Paul and Erin got to the road that T’d on to the road and needed to know if he needed to turn right toward the National Guard Armory (and my work) or to the left toward the air port and where I was currently walking. He called and was astonished that I was there already. They came, picked me up, took me home and yes-David was not there-he was still working at the Stake Center.
Needless to say I didn’t have a lot to say to him when he did get home. Also, I did not fix dinner. I didn’t feel like eating and knew I needed to cool off for a lot longer before I was ready to talk to him. When he did get home he said, without eye contact-a big no-no in my book, “I’m sorry.”
Yeah- a LOT of things went through my mind. Sorry for what? Sorry I’m mad? Sorry Church was more important (that one doesn’t wash with me-it is more important, however, part of Church is taking care of your family-your spouse)? Sorry the Stake Presidency’s praise of, “Great job-works perfect-so quick,” means more to him than my words of, “You are so awesome at doing this (specific task, attitude, etc.) and I love and appreciate that in you,” is of more value to you than I? Sorry that you didn’t get your act together, get started sooner, and plan your day better so you could get done earlier so you could pick me up on time? Sorry that you couldn’t or wouldn’t answer your phone? Sorry you didn’t watch the time closer-that is why you have a watch on your wrist-right? Sorry you don’t care about me enough? Sorry that our children care more about me than he did? Yeah-I wasn’t ready to talk to him so I said nothing and just rolled over and went to sleep.
The next morning before he left for work he again said, “I’m sorry.” Again I said nothing because I was waiting for him to say what he was sorry about.
That night when he called to let me know his bus was getting back on the freeway in Springville (the checkpoint that lets me know it’s time to leave for the Payson bus stop to pick him up) I didn’t answer the phone. Let him feel what it’s like to not know. To worry. To wonder. I made sure I was there on time.
I had the engine off when his bus pulled up. He put his laptop in the trunk and got in the car. I didn’t start the engine. We sat there and I said, “We’re going nowhere until this is resolved. I’ll wait to hear what you have to say.”
It took him 15 minutes to come up with he promised to turn the ringer on his cell phone back on after the Temple (which we had done on Saturday so he had the ringer off Saturday, Sunday, and Monday). And then I told him some of the thoughts and fears I had experienced and asked him about watching the time-wasn’t that why we bought him a watch? He agreed to watch time more closely when he’s working on Church projects.
What was my major concern? Yes, my knees; yes, the cold; but really the major concern was between the National Guard Armory and the Airport is the County Jail and open fields and some drivers aren’t careful along that road-there isn’t a sidewalk the whole way. These were legitimate (I felt) reasons to be concerned.
Comments
So be it!
Even so.
Thus verily!