Am I a Country Girl or a City Girl?

Friday morning I got a phone message from Blondie (Ruth) about Barbie. When Blondie was going out to her car she saw Barbie at the bottom of the driveway-yowling, curled in a ball, she had blood coming out of her mouth. Blondie was in a hurry to get to work so she couldn’t stop and what was she going to do with/about Barbie anyway? Dove had taken the day off of work (so was available at home) and so Blondie felt it best to at least let me know what was going on. I didn’t hear my cell phone ring (it’s in my purse in a closed drawer at work-duh! I’m not going to hear it ring). I was going to clock out at 8 or 8:30 and do a doughnut run then return by the time the "Boss" was back. I clocked out, grabbed my purse, headed for my car, checked my cell phone, and then listened to the message. I had a very sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had just rubbed Barbie's head that morning on my way out of the garage and told her I loved her. Needless to say I called Dove on my way home and asked him to check and see if she was still at the bottom of the driveway and what her status was. I couldn’t help but wonder during that long 10 minute drive (yes there are times that short of a drive feels very, very long) if I had hit Barbie with my car when I backed out of the driveway. It’s possible. I’m human and I may not have heard her. But no-it couldn’t have been me. I had the window down because I needed to back in front of the mail box to put a card in the mailbox. I would have heard her yowling. So, it wasn’t me. Whew! While I was on my way home Dove brought her into the house, he even had her on a towel by the drafty backdoor (we’re getting nearly 40 degrees for the high temperatures). So I had him put her in front of the refrigerator where there’s a gentle flow of warmth when the compressor is running. After I had at least appeased myself with knowing she was still alive, realizing I wasn’t sure if I was going to take her to a vet or not (if it’s hopeless-what’s the point? And is it right to spend resources on a pet? Don’t fret, I still have the same feelings about myself-I’ve watched enough people die with cancer and accidents and so I realize that whether it’s now or later, cancer, an accident, old age, worn out, whatever-we all eventually die-so why fight it?). So, still feeling quite sick to my stomach I decided to return to work. I stopped to pick up some doughnuts, milk, and bananas on my way back-for my co-workers and no-I did not want anything. I’m still torn between the city girl/country girl mindset. Do I run her to a vet like a city girl? Or do I treat her like a farm animal (not part of my livelihood) and if she makes it, she makes it and if she doesn’t then I shed a tear, dig a hole, and remember the good times? I decided to decide that fine point later. On my way to the store I called Blondie and told her Barbie's status. I ended with, I rubbed Barbie's head that morning on my way out of the garage and told her I loved her, just as I was telling Blondie I loved her-I followed with, "That said, this does NOT give you permission to get hit by a car!" Final note to the story? Barbie is holding her head up now, still refusing food and water, breathing easier, hasn't bled any yesterday or today, swelling in her face has gone down-and she's started to purr when she's petted. Oh and no, Blondie did not get hit by a car on her way home!