Children Still Ask Why-Questions
I have been asked multiple times by my daughters how I handled so many little children so close together with a husband who wasn't in the harness with me (at least he wasn't trying to drive the wagon-or there would have been an upsot cart. This question has been answered with several shrugs of the shoulders, I don't knows, and there was no other choice. Upon deeper reflection I have a more complete understanding and explanation.
I recall a day, as a young mother, when I had to stop myself in all my frustrations and heavy distractions from what I wanted to do (read a book) and needed to do (housework, cook, work a mighty miracle with the budget, etc) and say, "I am the mother and right now I can't be a cook, accountant, housekeeper or indulge my desires to read and learn. Motherhood is my most important and greatest responsibility.
"It-mothering- comes first; above what I want, above what I think I need, above my relationship with my husband because, one day these kids will grow up and go away and all I could have done to help, effect, change, grow, progress them to their greatest potential will be over. This moment in time is a now or never situation. They have to come first.
To meet the challenge of motherhood I HAVE to put God first."
This attitude is why I am and have been the way I am as a mother. Each time there was a squabble, squeal, fight, need, hurt (physical or emotional) I put me, my wants, my needs, my relationship with my hubby on the back burner-these things would have to keep and I pulled out my mother hat/apron and played that role. My lifeline? wasn't my mom. wasn't a friend. wasn't anything else other than God (through prayer and reception of direction from Him through the Holy Ghost), church, Temple attendance and scriptures.
I knew and hoped that one day I would be able to return to the 'me' building. Getting a job to have income and retirement and pay all those bills and charges off we incurred to take care of the needs of our kids (house improvements, school pictures, car repairs-you know, life-stuff) and maybe, just maybe if I was lucky, get an education. And somewhere in there I had to start to open my eyes and realize that I could and wanted to redirect myself to continue developing my relationship with my eternal companion or we won't be eternal. That would be sad-to have poured everything into my kids trying to help them get to that level and then we not making it.
That all said.
Was it worth it?
I have a an increasing and hopefully eternal posterity.
I have kids that respect me (mostly), treat me with love and consideration, put me first (Would you like to ride in the front seat of my vehicle? Here, you sleep in our bed.) and listen when I talk.
We went to White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico to visit with Jacob's family. He knew what time we would come dragging in and had hot biscuits with sausage and chocolate gravy, scrambled eggs, egg nog, and sausage links ready for us when we arrived. Sharon knew that within a few days of returning home we'd be celebrating David's and within the month my birthday and she (through the pain and difficulty it would cause) baked and decorated a cake for us.
Oh, I could tell stories about just about everyone of my kids-don't feel slighted if you aren't mentioned this time. You know your stories. Please don't be offended just because I haven't mentioned yours here nor did I mention something you may feel was a greater sacrifice (putting up with a mother-in-law on a family vacation for two weeks, putting up with foster youth on a family vacation for a longer time-a whole week) than what's been mentioned.
Life is too short to go around being offended about anything. Get over it. Or as my favorite turbo-frog would say, "Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it!"
I recall a day, as a young mother, when I had to stop myself in all my frustrations and heavy distractions from what I wanted to do (read a book) and needed to do (housework, cook, work a mighty miracle with the budget, etc) and say, "I am the mother and right now I can't be a cook, accountant, housekeeper or indulge my desires to read and learn. Motherhood is my most important and greatest responsibility.
"It-mothering- comes first; above what I want, above what I think I need, above my relationship with my husband because, one day these kids will grow up and go away and all I could have done to help, effect, change, grow, progress them to their greatest potential will be over. This moment in time is a now or never situation. They have to come first.
To meet the challenge of motherhood I HAVE to put God first."
This attitude is why I am and have been the way I am as a mother. Each time there was a squabble, squeal, fight, need, hurt (physical or emotional) I put me, my wants, my needs, my relationship with my hubby on the back burner-these things would have to keep and I pulled out my mother hat/apron and played that role. My lifeline? wasn't my mom. wasn't a friend. wasn't anything else other than God (through prayer and reception of direction from Him through the Holy Ghost), church, Temple attendance and scriptures.
I knew and hoped that one day I would be able to return to the 'me' building. Getting a job to have income and retirement and pay all those bills and charges off we incurred to take care of the needs of our kids (house improvements, school pictures, car repairs-you know, life-stuff) and maybe, just maybe if I was lucky, get an education. And somewhere in there I had to start to open my eyes and realize that I could and wanted to redirect myself to continue developing my relationship with my eternal companion or we won't be eternal. That would be sad-to have poured everything into my kids trying to help them get to that level and then we not making it.
That all said.
Was it worth it?
I have a an increasing and hopefully eternal posterity.
I have kids that respect me (mostly), treat me with love and consideration, put me first (Would you like to ride in the front seat of my vehicle? Here, you sleep in our bed.) and listen when I talk.
We went to White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico to visit with Jacob's family. He knew what time we would come dragging in and had hot biscuits with sausage and chocolate gravy, scrambled eggs, egg nog, and sausage links ready for us when we arrived. Sharon knew that within a few days of returning home we'd be celebrating David's and within the month my birthday and she (through the pain and difficulty it would cause) baked and decorated a cake for us.
Oh, I could tell stories about just about everyone of my kids-don't feel slighted if you aren't mentioned this time. You know your stories. Please don't be offended just because I haven't mentioned yours here nor did I mention something you may feel was a greater sacrifice (putting up with a mother-in-law on a family vacation for two weeks, putting up with foster youth on a family vacation for a longer time-a whole week) than what's been mentioned.
Life is too short to go around being offended about anything. Get over it. Or as my favorite turbo-frog would say, "Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it!"
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