Hesitation...
Sometimes you just don't want to say something out loud-especially if someone listening might hear it from their perspective and not from yours-else ways they may take it wrong, or hard or something like that.
I just want to say some things and not have anyone take it a wrong way. This is presented from my perspective-my opinion-my "I feel" statements.
We went on vacation this year. We've been doing that more than we ever could before and it feels absolutely wonderful. Our main impetus was to go see Jacob and Sharon as he was returning from Afghanistan. I wanted him and Sharon to know how important to me they are and hopefully by finally being able to make it out there we could show them. Also, I had a horrible nightmare just after he left and I wanted to know it wasn't so.
So from my perspective, the most important part of our vacation (the focal point) was to see and hold Jacob and know he was safe and to see and hold Sharon and know that she was doing okay. In fact I have a picture of her decorating Tammy's birthday cake on my cell phone! Being able to spend time with them was precious. There's something about being around people you love that you don't have to do a bunch of stuff, have every minute of every day planned, or be so involved in out of the norm routines to 'have a good time'. So, we had a great time. By the way-if you can ever get an opportunity to talk Jacob into using his BBQ grill and making you stuffed mushrooms-you'd be an idiot to pass it up.
Had Janele not said 'but we are planning on going to see them too and if you wouldn't mind, we could do it together' I would not have done the second half of the vacation. It was something I've heard many others talk about doing and something I knew I really wanted to do, but I hadn't thought to try and reach to do it too. Earlier plans (made when Jacob returned from Iraq) were to go see the Church sites with them-this until Sharon's health degenerated to the point where it wasn't feasible to do them with them. So plan B was born with Janele's offer and impetus and that led us to Missouri, Illinois, Nebraska and Wyoming. Wow!
For me, I found peace in standing at the marker stone for those who died during the Zion's Camp march, at the site of Haun's Mill, Adam-Ondi-Ahman, and the laid corner stones of Far West, Missouri. Sitting in the Visitor's center of the rebuilt Liberty Jail was a sacred moment-the spirit is very strong there. It's one thing to read of these places and the events in the Doctrine & Covenants, to see the Church's media depictions-it's something else totally to stand there and feel the spirit of the places. I needed to experience them.
Attending the Nauvoo, IL Temple, the spirit in the Endowment room was so full of love-more than I've ever felt in any temple. We actually went there twice. The second time we took a moment (because Janele told us about it) and walked down one of the halls to see Mary Fielding Smith's apron and one of her slippers and the keys to the original Nauvoo Temple. That was precious. We also, through the prompting of Sis. Compton, asked to see Joseph's sword-it was in the Sealer's office. It had been given by Joseph Smith Jr. to one of Bishop Compton's ancestors.
Anywhere I walked in Nauvoo I felt a love and peace that I would expect to experience in the city of Enoch. I felt very weepy-the place is permeated with sorrow-when we went to Carthage Jail. That was probably one of the hardest places for me to be. I sincerely think the sorrow is due to the loss the world suffered at the murder and martyrdom of Joseph Smith, Jr.
Outside of the Womens plaza there are statues placed of the progression of a woman’s life. That was so much more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. Just as I’ve felt the statue on Temple Square to the seagull is uniquely spiritual-I felt the Womens Plaza was as well. Even more so in fact, simply because this is probably the only place on the face of the earth (outside an LDS Temple) where a woman is honored and revered for her joint role with God in procreation.
For me the most sacred moment of our whole vacation occurred in The Groves where we
held family home evening. We had a lesson on baptism. Then we finished with each of us bearing our testimony. The Spirit was the strongest I have ever felt and very sweet.
Janele and I were blessed to perform an endowment in the Winter Quarters Temple. The spirit in this Temple was one of hallowed sacred sorrow.
Martin's Cove presented a new experience. David (Janele, Aaron, and their family) had never walked it before and never experienced walking into Martin's Cove. We had little water and no snacks with us. The kids really had an opportunity to have a tiny inkling of what the handcart companies endured.
The final sweetest moment came on the 3 hour drive back to Utah. Janele put in a tape which had a slew of stories about little children. One of them the kid-raised on hearing the scriptures-stopped his mom when she read a story book that began with Once Upon A Time... and the kid stopped her and said-but it has to start with And it came to pass... This caused me to reflect and ask, ’So Janele when you began reading scriptures as a family did you wonder if it would be a waste of time?’ ‘No. Because you had told me you had wondered that when you first started having us read scriptures as a family and I knew that I had got so much out of it, so I just did it.’ That ended that musing. I walked by faith into the dark, she was able to walk with a sure knowledge!
I just want to say some things and not have anyone take it a wrong way. This is presented from my perspective-my opinion-my "I feel" statements.
We went on vacation this year. We've been doing that more than we ever could before and it feels absolutely wonderful. Our main impetus was to go see Jacob and Sharon as he was returning from Afghanistan. I wanted him and Sharon to know how important to me they are and hopefully by finally being able to make it out there we could show them. Also, I had a horrible nightmare just after he left and I wanted to know it wasn't so.
So from my perspective, the most important part of our vacation (the focal point) was to see and hold Jacob and know he was safe and to see and hold Sharon and know that she was doing okay. In fact I have a picture of her decorating Tammy's birthday cake on my cell phone! Being able to spend time with them was precious. There's something about being around people you love that you don't have to do a bunch of stuff, have every minute of every day planned, or be so involved in out of the norm routines to 'have a good time'. So, we had a great time. By the way-if you can ever get an opportunity to talk Jacob into using his BBQ grill and making you stuffed mushrooms-you'd be an idiot to pass it up.
Had Janele not said 'but we are planning on going to see them too and if you wouldn't mind, we could do it together' I would not have done the second half of the vacation. It was something I've heard many others talk about doing and something I knew I really wanted to do, but I hadn't thought to try and reach to do it too. Earlier plans (made when Jacob returned from Iraq) were to go see the Church sites with them-this until Sharon's health degenerated to the point where it wasn't feasible to do them with them. So plan B was born with Janele's offer and impetus and that led us to Missouri, Illinois, Nebraska and Wyoming. Wow!
For me, I found peace in standing at the marker stone for those who died during the Zion's Camp march, at the site of Haun's Mill, Adam-Ondi-Ahman, and the laid corner stones of Far West, Missouri. Sitting in the Visitor's center of the rebuilt Liberty Jail was a sacred moment-the spirit is very strong there. It's one thing to read of these places and the events in the Doctrine & Covenants, to see the Church's media depictions-it's something else totally to stand there and feel the spirit of the places. I needed to experience them.
Attending the Nauvoo, IL Temple, the spirit in the Endowment room was so full of love-more than I've ever felt in any temple. We actually went there twice. The second time we took a moment (because Janele told us about it) and walked down one of the halls to see Mary Fielding Smith's apron and one of her slippers and the keys to the original Nauvoo Temple. That was precious. We also, through the prompting of Sis. Compton, asked to see Joseph's sword-it was in the Sealer's office. It had been given by Joseph Smith Jr. to one of Bishop Compton's ancestors.Anywhere I walked in Nauvoo I felt a love and peace that I would expect to experience in the city of Enoch. I felt very weepy-the place is permeated with sorrow-when we went to Carthage Jail. That was probably one of the hardest places for me to be. I sincerely think the sorrow is due to the loss the world suffered at the murder and martyrdom of Joseph Smith, Jr.
Outside of the Womens plaza there are statues placed of the progression of a woman’s life. That was so much more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. Just as I’ve felt the statue on Temple Square to the seagull is uniquely spiritual-I felt the Womens Plaza was as well. Even more so in fact, simply because this is probably the only place on the face of the earth (outside an LDS Temple) where a woman is honored and revered for her joint role with God in procreation.
For me the most sacred moment of our whole vacation occurred in The Groves where weheld family home evening. We had a lesson on baptism. Then we finished with each of us bearing our testimony. The Spirit was the strongest I have ever felt and very sweet.
Janele and I were blessed to perform an endowment in the Winter Quarters Temple. The spirit in this Temple was one of hallowed sacred sorrow.Martin's Cove presented a new experience. David (Janele, Aaron, and their family) had never walked it before and never experienced walking into Martin's Cove. We had little water and no snacks with us. The kids really had an opportunity to have a tiny inkling of what the handcart companies endured.
The final sweetest moment came on the 3 hour drive back to Utah. Janele put in a tape which had a slew of stories about little children. One of them the kid-raised on hearing the scriptures-stopped his mom when she read a story book that began with Once Upon A Time... and the kid stopped her and said-but it has to start with And it came to pass... This caused me to reflect and ask, ’So Janele when you began reading scriptures as a family did you wonder if it would be a waste of time?’ ‘No. Because you had told me you had wondered that when you first started having us read scriptures as a family and I knew that I had got so much out of it, so I just did it.’ That ended that musing. I walked by faith into the dark, she was able to walk with a sure knowledge!
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