WIT AND WISDOM MAMA KNEW . . . AND MY CHILDREN CONFIRMED ARE TRUE

I brought you into the world and I can take you out!

You have two ears and one mouth to remind you to do twice as much listening and half as much talking.

The eleventh unwritten commandment is, “Thou shalt not touch what is not thine.”

I fix it, you eat it.

You mess it up, you straighten it up.

You can’t fix your sibling’s problems—worry about your own.

Mama said there’d be days like this—she just didn’t say they’d happen all in the same day, one right after another.

“When you grow up and have kids I hope you have one just like you.” “Thank you!”
I did. John is impatient like me; Janele—second born like me, is the smartest of her siblings—like me; Jacob’s favorite color is red—like me; Joey is insatiably curious about everything and won’t quit until he has answers—like me; Ruth is very sensitive to and responsive to the Spirit—like me; and Paul cares about what others are feeling—like me.


Because I said so, that’s why.

If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as strength.

The cup of the wrath of mine indignation is full—in other words kids, I’ve had enough.

Knock it off or I’ll trade you in on a new model.

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you (insert child’s name here), it is required . . . not recommended, suggested, hoped for, but required, to forgive all man, that means even (insert second child’s name here).

You are acting like a (insert child’s age here)-year old.

You can’t go to the store and buy a pound of self-esteem.

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